The Amazing Journey of Marriage

How To Be A Couple by Sheila Kreifels, LMFT & Teresa Lauer, LMHCby Sheila Kreifels, LMFT

Our pastor’s black lab died on Sunday. During the sermon, he began to share, but was too choked up with grief. The church was completely silent. When he finally could utter a few words he simply said, “I wonder if we could all be a little bit more like “Blackie”. Greet one another with pure joy in our hearts and unconditional love.” I guess that is why God spelled backwards is dog.  There are examples all around us of God’s love and His desire for us to experience that love.  Marriage is one of His greatest examples.

Through marriage we are afforded the opportunity to learn how to love joyously and unconditionally.  There is something magical that happens during a wedding ceremony.  The friends and family gathered around  the room look back and forth from the bride to the groom.  Watch the next time you are at a wedding.  Everyone is taking in the connection between the two love birds.  Everyone is routing for them.  The groom is focusing on the bride as if no one else exists and the bride’s eyes are gazing at her groom.  They are locked in this state of joyous, unconditional love for one another.  And God is on the altar saying, “That’s right, you two love one another as I have loved you.  I know it is not easy, that is why I am here to help you both. Find your way, through one another, to me.”

Now what if the bride came walking down the aisle, all eyes on her, and her phone rings.  She stops and answers saying, “Hey, where are you, thought you’d be here today…”  Then the groom impatiently looks at his watch and the audience begins to grumble…The moment of connection is lost.  That is how vulnerable we all are to being sinful and flawed in our marriages.

Overcoming our flaws and shortcomings is what the journey of marriage is all about.  How do we help one another to become the best version of him or her self?  How do we become the joyous and unconditionally loving dog for our spouse?  How do we surrender to our selfishness and lay down our life for our spouse?  One way is to remember that first powerful connection while walking down the aisle or standing at the altar awaiting to receive your lovely bride.  Create that moment for your marriage each day by focusing on just the two of you without interruptions.  Let no man, woman or child come between you.  Or job, substance, shame, or deceit.  You can re-create that powerful moment each and every day  by surrendering to the power of deep connection and love, even when you do not feel deserving.  That is the amazing journey of marriage.



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