what is a healthy relationship?

I saw this poem hanging in a consignment shop in Monterey, California the week I became a licensed therapist. I decided to buy it for my new office. It spoke to me on so many levels.

In our co-dependent culture, so many people are struggling with boundaries, where they begin and where someone else ends.

Boundaries can be physical, mental and emotional invasions or trespasses of our bodies, thoughts or feelings. They can be invalidations of our authentic selves until we know longer know who we are, which makes it difficult to establish our own boundaries.

Robbed of boundaries, we can be “blown about by every wind” as Melody Beattie says in “Co-Dependent No More”, lacking a core self.

Boundaries are necessary to teach people what hurts us, what feels good, what we like and what we don’t like. When we cannot teach people and know that they will respect our bodies, thoughts and feelings, relationships become about power and control rather than about love.

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what i want from you

I want to love you without clutching,
Appreciate you without judging
Join you without invading,
Invite you without demanding,
Leave you without guilt,
Criticize you without blaming,
And help you without insulting.
If I can have the same from you,
Then we can truly meet and enrich each other.
~ Virginia Satir